Oh My God...Christians! Part 3 - Hypocrites!

Apologies to the two people who are actually reading this – I've been a little preoccupied with other matters (housing, work, exams, recordings family shit, etc.) and haven't had time to give this the attention that it needed and deserved. The other thing is, a lot of the information I was looking for for this was very difficult to find, or completely unavailable to me, so there are a few gaps here and there where I didn't have enough evidence to back something I was planing on writing about. Boo Hoo – let's move on.

The outrageous hypocrisy of Christians has been pretty well documented throughout the ages. Even Gandhi noted how “unlike Christ” the Christians were. Through many years of speaking to people about this, I've found that hypocrisy tends to be most Atheist/Agnostic people's first complaint about the religion and let's face it, no-one likes being preached to by people who they consider no better than themselves. I've also heard from a few of the god fearing folk that many of the Christians I would consider to be Hypocrites, Megalomaniacs and just plain full of Shit, they would not consider any more Christian than I. Granted, these are the same people that will try to tell you that Christianity is not a religion, but I do still hear their point. The Problem is, when everyone says they speak for the same god, and have completely different messages, who do you believe? On one hand, we have a whole stack of people saying god is forgiving and kind, and wants us to help each other, regardless of circumstance. The others, are those who believe that God makes no mistakes, only people do. Despite the fact I think most of the later group are uneducated assholes, I tend to sympathise with them a little more than the former. The thing is, at least there is a sort of logic to their interpretation of the bible. God said homosexuality is an abomination, so let's hunt down the fags. God said he would punish those who did wrong in his eyes, so the recent streak of Natural disasters in the Pacific is his way of punishing us for our sins. Reverend Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist Church have been in the news again lately for shooting their mouths off about exactly that. He describes Australia's bushfires as a punishment for our being a “Fag infested land of Sinners”. I know a lot of Christians who condemn this guy, but the thing is, his argument has total biblical validity. God says kill the homosexuals, so Phelps hunts them down. Being that he can't kill them without being locked up, he just does his best to make their life very uncomfortable. As far as the natural disasters go, In the bible god Rained fire and Brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah for being lands full of sinners, why is it unusual that he would do the same here? This is a big country, and I'm pretty sure there are more sinners here than there were people in those cities. The Tsunamis in Japan? Drowning seems to be one of god's favourite punishments for sin and disobedience – a few choice examples being the Egyptian army in pursuit of Moses and the slaves he freed, and the drowning of the entire fucking population of Earth, bar Noah and family. Earthquakes? In the Bible, god used Earthquakes to herald important events, such as the coming of Jesus, or an impending mass social Change. Perhaps the recent earthquakes are a sign that more shit is going to hit the fan soon? Phelps may be batshit crazy, but I'll be damned if he isn't consistent.

The Other group, put a lot more attention into passages like “judge not lest ye be judged” and “do unto others as you'd have them do unto you”. In this country at least, there are far more who follow this sort of toned down Christianity, using such passages to justify their choice to be peaceful. These are the sort of people you see putting their religious energies more into things like the great commission, and writing songs about how forgiving and perfect god is. We've all met, and dealt with scores of these ones in our life, so let's not linger on this too long. I said a moment ago that I felt more sympathy for the group of violent nut jobs than these guys. Let me clarify this a little. I think that people see this kind of toned down Christianity as an easier path to spirituality. There is less ritual, fewer rules, and it's by far the most socially acceptable sort of spirituality in the western world. In fact, they don't really do anything particularly different from an ordinary Atheist or Agnostic, apart from show up to church once a week, and tell people like me why we're going to hell. All in all, this part of the Christianity is the pop music of religion. Accessible, easy to get into, and nothing you have to strain yourself trying to understand.
The problem is that, though both groups of people represent completely opposing theological ideals (action versus non-action) both of them have biblical justification for their ideals. A recent Conversation with a friend revealed that he thought Phelp's attitude to Christians was wrong, because Jesus Teaches his followers to “Turn the Other Cheek”. And yet, Jesus is very same man who said he was not here to abolish the old laws, but to fulfil it (a sentence I believe is a mistranslation, because “law”, being a noun, has no business being fulfilled). There are various other passages in the new Testament reaffirming the validity of the old testament laws (including one in which Jesus criticises the Jews for not killing their disobedient children in accordance with the Old Testament). This brings me to one of the causes of Christian hypocrisy, and inconsistency; They're trying to align themselves with god.

In the last article I wrote, I discussed a few of the ridiculous inconsistencies in the personality of god. One day he's telling us to smite virtually every living thing on earth, the next he's telling us to be meek and forgiving. What are we supposed to make of that?

It Occurs to me that many Christians have not really read the bible properly - Studies have show the majority of churchgoing Christians still pick up their bible less than once a week, so that would certainly account for a large number of Christians, as well as supporting the argument that many churchgoers are not “real”Christians. However, of those who do read the bible, who can honestly say that they have tried to follow it to the letter?

One of the things I've always found very interesting about Christians is that no matter what they do, they maintain their moral high ground, because everything, in some way or another is condoned or condemned by the bible. For example, In Matthew 7:1-2 god condemns those who Judge others (Judge not less ye be Judged) Whereas in Corinthians 6:2-3, it is said the lord's people will Judge the world. What the fuck? You can't judge and not judge things simultaneously! In the book of Matthew, marriage is condoned as an institution, then, but a few books later It is condemned in Corinthians (yet again). In many of the earlier books of the bible, god is fire totin', drowning and smiting, whist simultaneously telling “His people” to preach what a peaceful and loving god he is, and to love each other likewise, then getting frustrated when they all steal, kill and rape (incidentally, all of these are also biblically condoned and condemned). To me, this comes off as a lot like a parent telling their child to be careful with their toys whilst throwing their plushies into a woodchipper. It seems to me that even if god is real, he's a freaking terrible influence on us. Just as in parenting and teaching, in order to get any result out of his “students” (us) god should have made some attempt to be consistent in speech and action, rather than making life difficult, the fucking off.

In fact, If we look at God's commandments and the so called “seven deadly sins”(contained in Galatians 5:19-21 with a bunch of other sins) we can see that he's broken almost all of his own rules:

• Murder/Wrath – well documented, so I won't bother
• Lust/Adultery – personally I think impregnating another man's wife qualifies far more than some of the more modest forms of “adultery” recognised by some churches.
• Pride/Arrogance/Jealousy – god gloats at every turn about how powerful he is, and how much better he is than the people he supposedly created. Interestingly, despite the common belief In Christianity that there is one god, Yahweh himself acknowledges the existence of other Deities (various passages for this in Genesis, Leviticus, Revelations and Exodus) , but proclaims before them all. Even going as far as to kill people for worshipping other deities, Proclaiming himself a “jealous and angry god” (a passage you rarely hear quoted in discussions with Christians). In fact, If you look at the original ten commandments, the first four fucking commandments are all just about people catering to god's enormous ego!
• Sadness/Low Self Esteem: - Aside from the fact I think it's really fucked that being sad is a sin, god has been there too – proclaiming himself “Dissatisfied” and “mournful” on a number of occasions – the Death of Jesus, the Exile of Adam and Eve, the Flooding of the Earth etc.

the point is that God himself isn't so perfect. He preaches lofty ideals that he as a superhuman deity can't practice, then changes the rules to accommodate for his own inability to be a good role model. So why are Yahweh's actions so human? The answer is one of the many errors in editing found in the bible (seriously, you'd think such a high profile book would be more thoroughly proofread and fact checked). Genesis 1:27(27!) -”So god created man in his own image...”

WRONG!!! It should read

“So Man created God in his image...”

now doesn't the Bible make hell of a lot more sense?

God's bipolar, the spelling errors the “imperfection” in people and all things on earth. The inconsistencies in the teachings of god and his prophets. If it's all the product of men, then it stands to reason that it's not going to be perfect. If it's the product of a meticulous, loving deity, then we're left with a steaming pile of paradoxical nonsense that cause people to act with the irrationality borne of blindly following a philosophical doctrine that can be described as inconsistent and absurd at best. For that matter, regardless of who it's written by it's led Christians in the same direction because of their faith that it is a book worthy of intensive study, and blind faith.

The problem is, all biblical study can possibly lead these poor Christians to is more confusion. The more inconsistencies they find, the more unsure of right and wrong they become. The more uncertain of their own actions they become. Worst of all, they cease living their lives to their true potential, choosing to do things for god, rather than themselves. I'm fairly sure we all have a friend of two who is immensely talented in some area or another, but squanders time procrastinating over how they can best serve god instead of how they can best serve themselves, or best serve the world. Unfortunately, being that the road to doing this is so paved with biblical contradiction that most end up just doing nothing in the hope that at least they won't do something wrong!
There's another, far more direct kind of Christian Hypocrisy of course. The kind we talk about far more – Selective morality. There are Christians who don't try to biblically justify their actions. People who think they are exempt from the rules of the rest of their religion. Interestingly, It is most often those who preach the hardest and talk the loudest who we find doing this. Divorce, for instance, is considered by the bible the worst kind of adultery, yet we have over a 50% divorce rate in Christian couples. Public Prayer is also Condemned by Jesus himself (“and when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret...” - Matthew 6:5-6 RSV). Does this passage possibly suggest that Praying in Church, is a violation of the will of Jesus? Another interesting one is the banning of chanting, or repetitions. Having been in a church but a few weeks ago for a wedding, I realised that all they do is repeat, or agree with other peoples speeches. There is no need for thought, or even any energy to go into being part of a congregation. All you need to be a Christian is the ability to agree. As an aside, the rhythmic chanting is insanely fucking hypnotic. It's not a huge shock they manage to brainwash so many people to the point the are happy to sit and say “Amen” at the right moments.

There are of course dozens of others, some of which I've already mentioned. Here's a few more commonly ignored biblical teachings though.

• Christians cannot oppose Evil - that is for god only.
• Christians can't call any man father – also for god only
• Preparation for anything show lack of faith in god, who has already decided the outcome.
• Tattoos and other bodily markings are forbidden
• a raped virgin must marry her rapist
• All men must give a tithe to the church
• Christian women are supposed to dress modestly.
• Christian men cannot have long hair, or rounded beards.
  

I'd like to close this blog by giving you a little run down on how to pull a Christian up on their own Hypocrisy. I've had this conversation so many times, and it always goes virtually the same way (at least when you're speaking to a Christian who has made some effort to learn about their own religion)– try it the next time you speak to a Christian, It's kind of fun.

When a conversation with a Christian takes a turn to morality, you will inevitably hear them preaching one verse while ignoring another (most likely an old testament verse). Call them up on it. The conversation should play out something like this:

Christian: That's part of the old Testament/Law/Covenant. We don't follow that any more.

You: Aren't the Ten Commandments part of the old Law?

Christian: Well... yes, but Jesus cited them, so they remain valid laws.

You: Actually, Jesus Cited Half of them. Besides, Jesus also condones the keeping, and beating of slaves. Do you think that's valid too?

Christian: Well, I'll have to look that up (If they start to say something else, just interrupt)

You: besides, In Mathew 5:18-19, Jesus says it is easier for all heaven and earth to pass than for one tittle of the law to fail. John 3:4 says that a sin is a transgression of the law, ergo, every time you eat pork, every time you fuck your girlfriend, every time you whisper, for fuck sake... you. Are. Sinning. You sin almost every minute of every day, so get off your high horse.

Christian: unlike you though, my sins will be absolved, because I put my life in the hands of god and Jesus

You: ah yes, god breaks about fifty of his own rules by impregnating another man's wife so that he can torture and kill the offspring, who is all somehow himself. Does that really sound like the kind of god you want to give your life too? Why don't you try Baal, or Ra? At least they didn't have such ridiculously high moral standards.

Christian: maybe because they aren't real? Don't even....

You: That's your opinion. Some day, your god is going to seem equally ridiculous to people. Besides, how do you know they don't exist? Yahweh himself says that there are other gods out there.

Christian: Yahweh?

You: How about we revisit this conversation when you actually understand your own religion, and have some idea of what you're talking about?

Christian: What?! You...

You: have fun playing “count the sins”. Bye-bye now.

Really, though, have fun with this.

Daniel